Thursday, December 11, 2014

Finding Gratitude through Love Juices from Heaven

I'd be telling you the truth if I said I absolutely love life right now. I love my job, my marriage, my cute little home, my kids, and being here with them every day.

But I'd be lying to you if I said I am always cheerful, smiley, and constantly singing praises of happiness and gratitude. 

This is not going to turn into one of those posts where I list everything challenging about being both a SAHM and a WAHM.  (Does anyone else read those words as "Sam/Wam"? I do...it amuses me.) 

But this is going to turn into an anecdotal little post about what happened last night and what I learned from it. So...read on if you wish. :)

Well, Mr. Pippin is 7 months now and is an absolute JOY most of the time; like 97% of the time. However, he's also teething. So when that mixes with tiredness, it's another story. Bla bla bla, nothing new, right? What baby doesn't get crabby when he or she is tired/teething? Anyone? Anyone? Oh...your child?

....We are no longer friends.

Just kidding. 

With all seriousness, his crabbiness usually doesn't bother me. Out of all the living creatures in my household, I seem to have the most patience for the baby. He is just so cute. My husband thinks it's crazy that I don't get annoyed, but I think it must be all the love hormones flowing through me every time Pippin nurses. (What, it's SCIENCE.)

Well, last night those love hormones were not runneth over when he woke up around 10:30pm, ready to play. He was completely exhausted (because...duh, 10:30 is for SLEEP not PLAY, young child). 

First, I tried getting him back to sleep. But he wasn't having it.

So I left the comfy bed, baby in tow, and went back out to the living room. I decided to let him play it out, and then he'd go back to sleep in an hour or so.

Well, it ended up being two hours (which is fine, whatever, I'm already over it). I had waited till he was exhausted...he was ready to just conk out when we hit the bed.

But, as soon as we laid back down in our bed, he got goofy. No conking out was happening like I'd planned. #fail.

I tried to cuddle, nurse him to sleep, the usual routine. He was just SO EXCITED to be back in his bed, though! Like, kick his little legs, whip his binky around, happy!

I put him on my chest and figured he would eventually fall asleep. Sometimes that's all he needs. But alas, no such luck. This is because Pippin has found a new game/torture session where he likes to dive-bomb into me (my chest, my arms, my lips...whatever is in front of his head, really...) when I'm already holding him. Then he snuggles for 2.3 seconds, lifts, and repeats. 

So imagine this baby repeatedly bonking you, all while being so cute, quiet, and content as could be. Sounds adorable, right? 

Yes and no. Depending on who you're asking. I was SO exhausted and tired by this point and was ready to sleep. But there he was, flopping around in my arms, dive-bombing into my chest.

The love juices from Heaven must have started flowing right around then, because nothing else explains the patience, love, and peace I began to feel suddenly. Instead of feeling frustrated at losing now over two hours of sleep, I felt so content. 

I realized that I am SO blessed and lucky and proud to be this little stinker's mom. I love him so incredibly much, and his amazing smile and goofy behavior are enough to smooth things over. He is my priority, and he is the best priority I could've asked for. Instead of sleeping, there he was in my arms, sort-of crawling around, and I could feel his little heartbeat and hear his whispers. (He has recently started whispering.) Everything was okay and beautiful. It will probably make it into my Top 10 Best Moments of 2014.