Monday, September 26, 2011

Just say, "Thanks!"

zealeap.com
Scenario: A party's coming up that you're really excited about. Of course, nothing in your closet seems fitting for the occasion. So you go out and find a great new outfit at the store. The day of, you take time doing your hair, putting on make-up, and picking out cute shoes. You look so snazzy standing there in front of the mirror. You get to the party, and someone greets you with a big smile saying, "Hey! How's it going? You look great - I love your hair."

"Oh gosh, really? It's so frizzy...I tried straightening it forever."

Compliments are given for a reason, but so many people feel uncomfortable receiving them. Perhaps feeling bashful from the attention, some people are quick to deflect the kind words and put themselves down a little.

"Did you really make this dessert? I totally love it!"

"It would be better if I had all the ingredients."

Why is it so hard to just say "Thanks"? In an attempt to be humble or minimize the greatness of something, you're missing out on an opportunity to 1) be humble and 2) keep the great energetic conversation going.

Instead, it would be better to accept the compliment graciously and say, "Thanks! I like how my hair turned out too!" or "Oh thanks - I'm so glad you like the dessert. It's one of my favorites!"

When you treat a compliment in this way, it makes everyone's lives much easier. Otherwise, the person who is trying to be nice by giving you the compliment then has to make up for the awkwardness. They mostly do this by insisting they're right, "No really! Your hair is just fine." or "I think the dessert really tastes great - good job!"

Then we usually accept it and say, "Oh thanks!"

As if we need to be told 50 times for it to be true.

Imagine if, in after an attempt to appear humble and turn away the compliment, the person giving it agreed with us and said, "Actually, now that you mention it, your hair does look pretty bad." or "Yeah, I can see what you mean. The flavor is really flat...next time make sure you have all the right ingredients."

I bet this would make people accept a compliment the next time one was given to them.

Accepting a compliment or kind words is not very difficult. It's not as though we have to sit down and write detailed thank you cards. All it takes is a couple sincere words and everyone's happy. So the next time someone reaches out to be kind, just say "Thanks!"

1 comment:

LuAnn said...

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa!

So right, Maggie! I will try!