Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Judgment and Bullies

We hear it a lot: "Don't judge." A lot of us go through daily life thinking that judging is bad - when in reality, we all do it. All day, every single day. When you get dressed in the morning, you judge the weather and decide what to wear. When you drive to work, you make judgements every few seconds to be safe on the road. While at work, you judge your co-worker's bragging about giving her 3-month-old Diet Coke to help with colic. I always knew she was nuts.

My point is, judging is not this horrible, mean experience. At least, it shouldn't be. We all have a right to make decisions - judgments - based on what we believe and know to be true.

We do not, however, have any right to do so in an unkind, mean, or unloving way. 

This month, a young teen from my area in WNY committed suicide due to bullying from kids at his school. This boy was gay, open about it, and took a lot of heat from his peers because of it. Actually, let me rephrase: not heat - more like hate. Your view and opinion on homosexuality is irrelevant. Whether you think it's right or wrong makes no difference in how you should treat a homosexual.

I'm Catholic, and my Faith demands that we treat homosexuals like we would anyone else - with complete love. It doesn't get any clearer than that. The only way to deal with people - with any kind of people - is with love. I get really, really upset when I hear or see people make faces, jokes, or lower their voice to say derogatory things about the gay community. Not because I particularly have some special connection to them, but because such behavior goes completely against our obligations to them - and that's the simple act of love.

We wouldn't think it's okay if someone talked badly of a disabled, special needs person. We're all human beings, and whether you like it or not, God loves each of us equally. And if HE does, then we have no excuse to do otherwise.

It is appalling to me that bullies are tolerated in our day and age. Kids can't even stand up for themselves out of fear of being the ones punished. Bullies start behaving that way at a very young age. And it is NOT okay. Parents need to pay more attention to their children and how they treat others. Manipulative, dominating, arrogant, and nasty behavior are all signs. Parents must make it their responsibility to teach their own kids that being mean to any group or any child is not acceptable. Children cannot treat each other like doormats. Nasty children should be nipped at the bud and given strict consequences when they're mean to others. My kids will never step foot in a school unless things change. 

I think it's revolting that even after the young teen from WNY died, the bullying still continued. Messages like, "You're better off dead" were still sent his way.

Seriously? People mourned the death of Osama Bin Laden, saying we should never rejoice over one's death. Yet kids these days are heartless enough to continue their hate even after the boy kills himself?

We should all speak up more than we do. Who cares if you irritate someone by telling them that they're being mean or rude -- or even that their child is? Better a hurt ego than a broken child. Or a dead one. Bullying has to stop. 

NO H8.


Jo said...

Yes, bullying does have to stop. There is no excuse to ignore it or look the other way. The problem is, as an onlooker, I feel it is more detrimental to interact with a bully. It gives them the power, they cannot have power or attention from anyone who cannot punish or create consequences for their actions. I will always take care of the bullied and report the bully. I will not judge the bully, just the bullying.

Angie said...

My son had a couple of instance with a bully last week at school. Both times the bully attacked him, there were teachers standing around and didn't do a thing about it. My son and this guy are in the 7th grade. My son did defend himself and I'm grateful that he didn't get in trouble for doing so, but I'm also a little upset that he even had to with the teachers all standing around watching. The bully didn't get in any trouble either though. The school has a no bully policy, but it's useless if nobody enforces it. A friend of mine also has a kindergartener that had trouble with bullies at the start of the year because her little girl is autistic, and once again, the teachers allowed it without a word. My friend had to go to the school and confront them about it. It makes me worry what might be going on with my girls that nobody is doing anything about and that they may be too afraid to tell me.

Catie Glawatz said...

Love this post!! You are such a talented writer!!!

Kathy said...

The bottom line in all instances is that we all are born the same way, put are pants on the same way, and eventually we all die. I don't care if someone is black, white, purple, blue, or gay...they have a right to a happy life. Everyone is the same in G0d's eyes and even though I might not choose to live a certain way, doesn't mean that lifestyle is wrong. As long as everyone is happy, I am good to go. To live without being tormented for their choices. G0d made us all different, and He doesn't make mistakes. If G0d can choose to love everyone, why is it so much harder for everyone else?? Passing judgment on someone because you deem them wrong is just taking matters out of G0ds hands and into your own. Seems to me that is more wrong than anything the person that is being criticized is doing. Wonderful provoking post. Sorry for the mini blog, you evidently provoked the ole soapbox to come out! LOL


Word Nerd said...

I am in complete agreement. Not only do we not have the right to treat other people unkindly, but I feel that we have a responsibility to speak out against all manner of cruelty. Yes, bullies do sometimes seem to thrive on the attention that their behavior gets them, but still, to stand back silently is to offer quiet approval, and that's just not okay.