Wednesday, April 27, 2011

W is for Ways to Piss Off a Pregnant Woman

Pardon my French. I usually say "tick off" but the article title says the "p" word, hence I allow myself to be manipulated into repeating it.

So...yes, the article!

Definitely check this out, 10 Ways to Piss Off a Pregnant Woman. It is hilarious! I can't even pick a favorite one. They're all so true. As a pregnant momma myself, I've started to hear these same things. Granted, it's not as bad as it was the first time around with Little Olive. Number 8, for example, has been the big one. People comment on how big or small they think I am already. At 17 weeks, I admit I am not as enormous as I was with L.O. (But maybe I'm just carrying differently. Or maybe this baby doesn't have legs. That would affect her/his size, right?) People ask when my due date is and then start calculating in their heads how big I really should be by now. They then assume I have my conception date wrong...I mean, who can trust a young mom to know about things like that anyway?

I'm actually telling the truth. With my first pregnancy, people said I got my conception date wrong...or that I thought I got a period when I really didn't. (Oh, I'm serious.) After all, how could a healthy, 8lb baby be born three weeks early!? Um...the same way a healthy 11lb baby can be born at full term. And maybe because I ate like a horse my entire pregnancy.

How do I feel about Number 10 (touching a pregnant belly)? I don't mind too much. If you're family or friend, it's probably okay - just ask first, or else I might just reach out and touch yours so we're equal. If you're a stranger/creeper, it's probably not okay.

Number 7 is really good. "Just wait until the baby comes." Because after that your. life. is. over. I see this in all situations, not just pregnancy. It almost seems like people don't want you to be happy! Or maybe they can't be happy until they make sure you're as miserable as they are.

"I'm so excited to get married!"
Just wait till you're sick of your husband.

"I can't wait to graduate and get a real job!"
You say that now. In a year you'll be wishing you were a kid again.

"I'm loving this sunshine!"
Seriously? I am way too hot.

"I bought a new car today! It's awesome."
Now watch your insurance rates skyrocket. 

"Yes! New cell phone. Totally excited."
Keep it away from the baby or else they'll puke on it.

"Look at this picture of my cute child."
...What is she WEARING?

"I'm actually getting along with the dog! Hooray."
No, you're not. You're lying. 

This is what I got when
typing"glass half full"
into google images.
They're so creative.
I once heard a great piece of advice. It came from a class at my community college (my favorite college ever!). My teacher told us it was important to find happiness in whatever area of life we happen to be. You couldn't think the grass would be greener on the other side. You couldn't depend on another stage of your life making you happier. "When the semester's done, everything will be perfect." Naturally, students feel stress during their school year and relief when it's over. That's normal. But it's about enjoying life at every stage while you can, not just waiting for it to get better. You have to make that happen yourself.

So if you notice someone being optimistic about life, don't squash their happiness simply because you're miserable.

If you notice someone being optimistic, learn from them! The glass can be half full. They can find the bright side of things. There's always a silver lining.

Your job today is to pass along a positive, hopeful, happy piece of life. You can do it, I promise. :)


Natalie said...

LOL - I love it! And I love your comments, too!! :) We knew EXACTLY the day Timmy was conceived, but my midwives (and other people) were convinced I must have gotten the date wrong because he was 8 lbs at 2 weeks early. Um - no, we weren't married before that, and I didn't come down to TX until 36 hours before the wedding - so unless it's possible to conceive a baby when you are 2000 miles apart from each other, then I'm telling you, I know the conception date. ;)

Created2bholy said...

Hahahaha. Are all those examples things people actually said to you?! Oh my gosh, I would die...or they would...
As a sidenote, I lie and never admit that I've had a period since having Lena when telling a midwife. I just tell them I haven't had one since the 1st month I was married b/c of breastfeeding (I really do this- it keeps them off my back!). They'd likely freak out like when I was expecting Lena thinking she wasn't developing at all- scaring a poor new momma half to death. They couldn't but 2 and 2 together when I told them I have a 50 day cycle so obviously my conception date cannot be figured out like "normal" people. And, practicing NFP and since they weren't in the bedroom, I think I'd know when I conceived, not them. (Sorry that's kind of crass, but seriously!) Ah people.... they're. so. funny!

i.ikeda said...

Awww, this is great! I love positivity, and I definitely agree we need more of it. I try to make a conscious point to do it, although I fail many times. That's why I chose my word for this year to be sunshine.

And oh yes, I got a lot of those things on the list too... Except the touching the belly. Nobody wanted to touch the belly. Hmmm.....

Sylvestre Ayissi said...

I don't know if I have a place in this womaninze blog. Tell how I can benfit from it.